Safeway Select Appetizers: Chicken Empanadas, Firecrackers, and Bags of Gold

Distributed by:  Safeway, Inc.
Required to Prepare:  Oven

Chicken Empanadas:  75 calories per piece
Firecrackers:  70 calories per piece
Bags of Gold:  80 calories per piece

My sweetie and I occasionally enjoy having a "tapas" dinner of sorts, by getting a variety of these frozen appetizers and making a meal out of them.  These are the ones that we usually get; she was the one that got me started on them, and even after all manner of flitting around trying different things by the Butterfly, these are still the ones we seem to like the best.

Although the package directions give a slightly different cook time for the empanadas, I find they all turn out fine by baking at 400° for 7 minutes per side.  They can also be deep-fried, which gives them a crisper texture, but we use the oven more often, just because it seems a little easier.

The Chicken Empanadas and Firecrackers are similar; the crispy exterior is sort of like a grilled flour tortilla.  The filling of the empanadas have a distinct jalapeño and bell pepper flavor along with the chicken and cheese, and the Firecrackers have more like a pulled roast beef and nacho filling.  The Bags of Gold are the odd one out; the wrapper is thinner and lighter, more like a wonton wrap, and rather than a Mexican flavor, the spinach and cheese filling is more European in style.  Even from the oven, they do get crispy on the outside, although they are of course a bit chewier than if they were deep-fried.

We definitely enjoy them, with either prep method.  We choose them over more expensive name-brand frozen appetizers, and it's not because we are sacrificing quality for price--it's because we like these the best, and the fact that they are inexpensive is just a happy coincidence.  :)

Old El Paso Meal for 2 Shredded Beef Burritos

Distributed By:  General Mills Sales
Required to Prepare:  Microwave
490 calories per burrito


I apologize for not having taken my own photos for this one; I wasn't intending to review this one until after I experienced the quality of this product.

The first bit of wrongness comes from the preparation instructions:  Despite being billed as a "Meal for 2", the only instructions provided are for microwave cooking, which specifically state not to cook both burritos at the same time--so, do they plan for my wife to start eating while mine is heating up, or do they think one of us just gets a cold one?

At any rate, we cook them one at a time, for five minutes each, in their silly little individual steamer bags.  (The cooking instructions say 4-6 minutes depending on microwave wattage; mine isn't low or high, so 5 it is.)  They also stand for two minutes to "complete cooking", which is apparently slang for "turn into concrete".  You know, I expected a soggy tortilla, and I wouldn't have complained about that.  Dried out, leathery, impenetrable tortilla?  Not as acceptable.  Forget cutting with a fork; they couldn't even be cut with a table knife.

For the record, the flour tortilla seemed to have been of the whole-wheat variety; unlike the package picture, they were moderately dark in color and the little bits that were edible had a whole-wheat flavor.  After using kitchen shears to finally get at it, the filling inside seemed overly spicy and really didn't seem worth the effort needed to free it from its protective shell.

To summarize, these were utterly abysmal.  Not only have they warned me away from ever trying any more of Old El Paso's frozen offerings, they've actually made me wary of their traditional products as well.  I don't know who decided these were ready to market, but they deserve to have to eat this. :b

Hormel Compleats Cafe Creations Spicy Ginger Chicken

Distributed By:  Hormel Foods, LLC

Required to Prepare:  Microwave

280 calories per package

 This shelf-stable meal had been lingering in the cabinet for a while, so when I wanted a small lunch yesterday before my shopping trip, I decided it was time to use it.  These shelf-stable "Compleats" meals do have the advantage of being extremely convenient, with their very short microwave time (as they are being heated from room temperature instead of from frozen).  One minute in the microwave plus a one-minute stand time, and my small, quick and convenient lunch is ready to eat!

The flavor is a bit different than I had expected based on the name; the sauce is very rich, almost with a tomato-beef-stock flavor (although I don't think there is actually any tomatoes or beef in it).  The spice was noticeable but not overwhelming, which is to be expected for a mainstream product such as this.  The ginger, which I expected to be the top note in a light and crisp Thai-style flavor, instead becomes the base note in a deep and rich sauce.  Naturally the noodles are quite a bit softer than "al-dente," being in essence a canned pasta product, but I have to say I don't mind soft pasta in this context--I think it all comes together nicely, expecially with the water-chestnuts for a crispy textural aside.

I notice, though, that on the Hormel Compleats web page, this product is not listed anymore.  I think that's kind of a shame, as I rather liked it.  I don't imagine I could have singlehandedly "saved" the flavor from extinction, but if I had eaten it sooner, I might have at least been able to buy a couple more before they went away.

Now, it seems the only thing I can do is give it a posthumous happy-face. :)

Maruchan Instant Lunch Roast Chicken Flavor

Made By:  Maruchan Inc. [USA]
Required to Prepare:  Hot Water (10 oz.)
290 calories per serving

Available online through Amazon.com

It occurs to me that I have done very few reviews of cup noodles, which is kind of a shame, since I think for convenience and versatility they're really hard to beat--add some chips and some fruit on the side, and they're a really easy lunch; have them by themselves and they're a great afternoon snack.  If you have access to either a water cooler with a hot-water tap or a single-cup coffee maker that can dispense hot water, there is literally no cooking required.

This flavor used to be one of my favorites when I lived in Maruchan country [Missouri], and I hadn't found it again since moving to Nissin territory [Seattle area].  So when I found a good selection of Maruchan products at the local WinCo (for 28¢ a cup!) I had to grab a few for review!  As I mentioned above, preparation is as simple as adding 10 oz. of boiling or nearly-boiling water (to the fill line) and waiting three minutes.  Time for a noodle break!

I don't know if the noodle texture of Instant Lunch has improved, or if I just didn't remember how good they were, but I do actually prefer the noodles here to the domestic 'packet' noodles that tend to be soft and soggy.  I remember liking the broth, but I didn't remember details; it's a nice chicken-stock flavor, but with a hint of cumin that gives it a little depth.  The corn rehydrates a little better than the carrot bits, but both provide a nice little pop of sweetness to contrast the salty-savory broth.  I enjoyed it!  I think I might be having some more "cup noodle breaks" in the near future. :)

Lowrey's Bacon Curls Original Microwave Pork Rinds

Made By:  Oberto Sausage Co. [USA]
Required to Prepare:  Microwave
210 calories per package

(Available online through Amazon.com)

Due to the new work situation, I have had a bit fewer opportunities to enjoy (and thus review) ramen.  Who knew company-paid lunches could be a bad thing, right?  The reviews must go on, though, so today I will talk about low-carb snacks.

One thing I remember from my childhood is that my grandfather's favorite snack food was pork rinds.  He would usually have a bag next to his recliner, and he would share with the grandkids when we came to visit.  Maybe because of that memory, they are also a favorite snack food of mine, although I don't know if I've ever found a brand that tastes as good as what I remember him having.  So when I heard about these microwave pork rinds, made locally here in the Pacific Northwest by Oberto in Kent, WA, I knew I had to give them a try!

Preparation is both simple to anyone who's made microwave popcorn, and also slightly different.  The package cautions us to shake up the unpuffed pork rinds after unfolding the bag (to spread them out), and also has dire warnings about how it doesn't make popping noises like popcorn does and to watch the microwave like a hawk while cooking.  All I know is, with my older microwave, I can cook a bag for 2:10 and it turns out perfect every time without worrying about burning anything up.  (Your wattage may vary, naturally).  The bag inflates fully, like popcorn, but then deflates once cooking is done and the steam re-condenses--one package produces the amount pictured in the bowl.

The flavor is salty and sort of bacon-y, a lot like you would expect if you know what pork rinds taste like.  However, these will be the freshest pork rinds you've ever had; they are still snapping and crackling while you start to eat them, and I must say, fresh, hot pork rinds are a more memorable experience than cold ones out of a bag.  If you dislike the flavor of regular pork rinds, I doubt you'd like these either.  But if you do like them, I heartily recommend these, and I imagine you will have trouble going back to "pre-puffed" after tasting them. ^_^

Achievements for Shopping?

I'm going to take a small diversion from my normal review format to share something that's got me all excited recently.  I've recently joined the "modern age" and gotten a smartphone, and one of the new things I can do with it is to save money on shopping!  There's this app called Ibotta which you can use to earn money back from manufacturers for purchasing items from most popular retailers.

I've been having a stupid amount of fun doing it--it's kind of like a real-life scavenger hunt game.  You "complete tasks" in the app by doing things like reading facts, answering multiple-choice questions, watching videos, or sharing product info on Facebook/Twitter, which earns you credit toward your purchase of that product.  After purchasing, you take a picture of your receipt, and the credit goes into your account where you can cash it out to your PayPal!

The real fun part comes in when you start collecting Bonuses.  I don't know how many of my readers are video gamers, but if you're familiar with the concept of XBox Live or Steam "achievements", or PSN "Trophies", the Bonuses are like that, except for shopping instead of gaming!  Some of the Bonuses are even worth real bonus money in your account!  As an example, right now there is a pair of "Target Freezin'" Bonuses--for the first one, when I cashed in three Target-only offers on one receipt, I got an extra bonus $3 into my account (plus a nifty Target-themed Bonus Badge for my collection).  If I go back on a different day and cash in another offer, I unlock the other Bonus, for another Badge and an additional $2--on top of the value of the offers themselves.  It can add up quick!

There's currently a "Share the Love" bonus going on, where if new members sign up through a referral link such as this one, that new user can earn a whopping $10 Bonus for redeeming any 5 offers in their first two weeks--which is even easier than it sounds!  It does require an Android or iPhone with a rear camera, but it works at all kinds of retailers, like Target, Safeway, Walmart, Walgreens, Rite Aid, Kroger/Fred Meyer... even places you wouldn't expect, like Sam's Club, 7-Eleven, Whole Foods, and even the Military Commissary.

Because the Ibotta offers aren't redeemed at the store but through the app, they can even be "stacked" with manufacturer and store coupons for some really ridiculous savings on some items.  But even if normal paper couponing isn't "your thing", I bet you'd find this couponing "game" to be a lot of fun. :D

Thai Kitchen Rice Noodle Cart Pad Thai

Imported By:  Simply Asia Foods, LLC [Product of China]
Required to Prepare:  2 tbsp Water, Microwave
460 calories per package

Tonight, my usually-not-noodle-loving sweetie told me she wasn't all that hungry, and asked if we could have instant noodles for dinner!  I had something in the Noodle Stash for just such an occasion--two packages of these Pad Thai noodles from Thai Kitchen.  They were perfect not only because I actually had two, but because I know my sweetie prefers this type of dish over noodle soups.  Dinner is decided upon, so it's time to cook, eat, and review!

The package consists of a shrink-wrapped plastic container inside the paperboard overwrap; inside this container is a packet of "fresh" rice noodles, some sauce, and foil packs of dried veggies and peanut topping.  We open the noodles and dried veggies into the container, pour the sauce over the noodles and add 2 tablespoons of water, cover loosely with the lid, and microwave for two minutes.  After stirring things up, we top with the peanuts.  I cooked each meal individually, due to the short cook time, so after repeating all of the above, dinner is ready to go!

The texture of the noodles is actually pretty good; they are not sticky and are pleasantly firm.  Unfortunately, that's pretty much the only good thing for me to say about it.  The flavor of the sauce is a bit strange; it's overly tangy and sweet, and tastes much more like a not-very-good hoisin sauce than anything resembling an authentic Pad Thai sauce.  I ended up wishing I had left the peanut topping off; despite the product being in date, the peanuts were quite stale and actually tasted a bit rancid.  Overall, it just didn't seem like a quality product.  And it wasn't just my package; before I mentioned my impressions, my sweetie independently critiqued both the flavor of the sauce and the freshness of the nut topping.

The consensus of the Ramen Butterfly household, then, is that we were a bit disappointed in this one. :\